what failure looks like

Written by: Nikoya

When I started this site, I did not know exactly what I was thinking.

When I started 9thMind I had two things going before: a business.  an idea.

So what the hell happened? I did not have a clear purpose or goal when I began.  Then when all of my writing content, including laptop and iPad got stolen, I clearly lost touch of what I thought I was doing.

Anything in life can always change very quickly, in a blink of an eye.  Things can change so drastically, so fast, and you will never be able to predict it.

Many people may look at me and say, “how the hell are you working at a corporate job, living a cookie cutter life, eating TV dinners for lunch (and sometimes dinner), living the 9-5 grind, gorging at bars on the weekends, re-joining the pathetic Facebook, etc., etc… when you were so anti that just 3 months earlier??”

Well, I will tell you this: change.

No matter how “anti” or “pro” we are against things, that view or feeling can always change; it can change by force or surrender.  In my situation I belive that I was split in-between the two.  I was split because I did not see the rescue team from the struggle, within the life that I dreamed of and was creating for myself slowly. I might have been carrying dead weight, but I never saw the rescue boat.

After awhile, when your life is steadily passing you by, you begin to wonder if you have made the right decision.  You begin to question if you really have what it takes to do whatever you are thriving to really do.  That part, that gray area.. that questioning dilemma is the bitch.